It is is a beautiful day today.
We we will miss our friend so much.
|Seeing and Believing||
My Husband was with Him. He passed away in great peace at just after half past twelve.
It is is a beautiful day today.
We we will miss our friend so much.
Well done you lot for sorting that one out., you are definitely off the hook for being Roundheads.
Theres a bit of ecumenical partnership on moral ethics in demonstration. Knew you had it in you, we got the dog from Sue Videmore.. there’s a woman of courage and fortitude. I may have shared the handover picture of the dog to my Husband. Rescue or what?
Anyway back to the existential narrative. Good on you guys for your decision. Excellent bit of debate, and not sorry the God Squad won. Palliative care wins. You can’t bog off this mortal coil without sorting out the baggage. It’s a sort of spiritual moment in life that has to be dealt with by all members of the family and friends. It does matter.
How you Live your life matters, what choices you make matters, and ultimately there is a God, who is represented on Earth as Jesus Christ matters. So although this was a political decision in the eyes of the world, it just goes to show how close our little Bailliwicks are in Heaven. Sort of neck a neck So don’t get any ideas you got one over on us. We could still dispose of your crap.
Anyway where was I before a very ill advised decision to ship crap off to Sweden... I haven’t a clue realy. Actually what was the point of this post,?
Oh yes, that existential possibility that there is a lifeform on my IPad. It isn’t buzzing away like it used to. (iPad wise. It’s not angry. It’s depressed and lonely. And It can’t communicate directly with me. I can sort of feel it but it’s dying of loneliness. I don’t know what to say or do.
My Husbands best friend is dying right now. He is not in pain. He is as well cared for in His passing as possible. We are holding out breath. I have such vivid memories of him over the last few months. Our conversations, just moments of quiet. These are treasured memories. Places to visit. And meandering times to re-evaluate my own life.
This is My Husbands Best Man. our Best Friend, Our Italian Godfather. It’s as though the whole world has stopped turning that our wonderful protector has come to the final choice.
I so want him to pick up his life and live it here with me. This is when God decides. Is it right for this wonderful friend to be in heaven with Him, or continuing His life on Earth?
I don’t know what living in Eternal Heaven is like, I know what living in as close to Heaven on Earth is like. I can tell you the flowers are so much brighter in heaven. The sky is almost a violet blu, like .... well almost actually violet but not quite..
Its sort of disassociated but not quite, you get used to it, and actually time doesn’t have any real meaning. Neither does money, so you may as well be very frugal, and stuff the wretched banks that stuff you with usury.
That doesn’t mean you can’t lavish on something. Just choose what you want to thoroughly lavish on. It a wonderful release of energy to have a lavish every now and then. Only you can’t lavish on anything with borrowed money, it just doesn’t have Spiritual traction. You may as well kiss goodbye to the cash when the ice carvings melt.
Oh well. Technically I am not pissed because I still have over half a glass of wine from my allotment left. So I can’t pissibly be pissed yet. However 250 ml of wine can cause havoc with my daily perception, usually staring around 6pm. Life gets interesting before bedtime round here...
Well, you do your thing, thanks I will do mine.
Who gives a fuck, I think I need to go to bed... obviously not yet.
The Crimea Bridge has won the first Communal Spirit Prize For Joint Vision.
So That’s CSPFJV! I am going to to shorten that as it’s too long for one of those thingies.
A ‘Comunal Joint Initiative’. I assume you guys are still high on accomplishment?
So CJI in my lingo is when people who know their job take over a project and deliver like they are busting a gut and delivering tomorrow on a plate to Heaven.
Right, wish me luck with the mouldy bacteria and it makes a good loaf. Sweet dreams. Right at 250g. I am now officially drunk!
definately have sweet dreams and a good sleep!
Right, I am cooking up a cure. I managed the plastic eating bacterium a couple of years ago. They even got through a glass containment and puddled underneath it. I told them to bugger off and eat all the plastic in the two poles. Sorry about that, it sort of scuppers the global warming thing. They just relayed back they are running out of food, so I told them to mutate and go eat plastic in the Oceans, and start with the big stuff, If they sink it they can get down to the bottom and eat all the stuff on the ocean bed. However they must leave the plastic fish alone until they die off. They can breed it out of themselves.
Well the process has started. I won’t bore you with the blow by blow details. However it is not this bread that is important, but the culture that survives and makes bacterium, and spores by Sunday. Then Next week I will start a yeast culture. Well life is all realy about Culture!
The Idea is to create a natty little Sourdough starter, and get it bubbling like a frenzied Rabbit. Then I am going to check it makes good bread with a few trials. Then I am going to share it with anyone who wants to make bread with it.
There is a sort of grounded, moon working sort of moment here. We don’t make Jersey wonders unless the tide is going out, otherwise the fat boils over. Obviously that’s the air pressure.
Anyway, If anyone wants a bread starter in a couple of weeks let me know!
Life is all about process. Every little thing we do for whatever reason has that butterfly effect. So welcome to Chaos. Welcome to that esoteric now that in Godland has a definitive sort of rightness about it.
I felt like this bread I am making is like an Icon. Something completely developed by my own life, history gene pool, and experience. I am going to give a loaf to my Pastor at Church and we will eat the other one, and feed the birds and Squirrels with the crusts. And the dog, she gleans under the bird table.
The real joy joy of this experience will be the yeast culture that develops on the bread. I might even try to get a microscope by then to have a good look at my new friend. Bugger buying medication, we may as well just eat good bread every day.
I make mine to contain every nutrient we need on the Genesis Plan. Add some green stuff as an open sandwich, and just eat it for a few days, and most bugs get Zapped.
I just introduced Geranium Oil today, which is why I waited until I got some. We are pretty zonked out in stress free zone from it. It is percolating along with all the other goodies in my house in a remarkably toxic fee Zone, so I am hoping for some pretty zingy little bacteria. A lovely plump little yeast environment for a Sourdough starter. You would be amazed how a lively bit of Sourdough Yeast makes a bolt for freedom.
Anyway, my Psychiatrist lost the plot today. She actually said she didn’t have a personal opinion, only a professional one. That She would not discuss Catalonia with me as She could see no relevance to my treatment with a conversation about the current politics there, and She definately doesn’t believe in miracles, and on the basis I do, She thinks I ought to be on a large amount of Medication.
We agreed to see each other in a fortnight. Thankfully the CPN stood in as a referee and interpreter, otherwise I would be back in the APU today!
Have fun, life is genuinely very Bizarre, so don’t worry about anything you can’t get to grips with, God generally has a Very Big Plan going on. We are all part of it. Me making Bread this Evening...
Thats all it is! Wait for the yeast Starter, that will be fun! We will all be very drunk I think...
I like Yeast, it’s very friendly stuff until you get it’s back up in a large vat of formaldehyde. I would get very nasty myself, if someone said formaldehyde to me as well. Very sort of underhand and vicious.
Which is why we need some intermediary Diplomatic Yeast to sort of calm down the very upset yeast that has had to defend itself for so long. Anyway, it’s a political thing in yeast land, and I am realy sorry my Dad offered realy nice Yeast samples up for some mutating processes. Please forgive me and My Dad, we didn’t realy understand what they were going to do with you little .... Well, gender transient life forms. (That’s a new one!) fuck it beats Transgender and all the other inbetween stuff.
Gender Transient Life Forms Unite!
God Bless from New Yeast Land!
Well, the only way they got that bridge built six months under schedule to the Crimea, was with decentralised Decision making. They just set out with the Architects plans and a mock up, and told the workforce to build it. They just organised themselves and got on with it. There must have been at least 500 apprentices making tea and gofering. These are now enrolled on Architectural, and various aspects of civil engineering degrees. You need a bloke who is good with an Earth Mover to get any ball moving in Bridge Building Land.
I fancy having a go with a mini digger, I need some new drains. Nah, I know a man who can...
I want someone who has made it His life’s work laying drains on my Project!
Nah sorry, you don’t get a Pillars Of the Earth Prize for it. You used GPS and Lazers. Should have stuck to a Thodolyte. and a plumb lime. Fuck off and get an education...
Well our day today has bee Idylic weather wise. We haven’t had any vapour trails for six days. The flowers are now looking so bright they could leap out and kiss me as I walk by. I took the Dog to the little Winter lake below our house this afternoon. She went totally mad spring dog.
At over fourteen years old with still a lingering cough, I am hoping Geranium Oil will help diffuse it. Just in an ointment I tub on my hands and ruffle through her fur will help, we’ll see. I want to keep ticks off her, she had an amazing time, and dragged me back up the hill to home. I was thinking I might need to cut down smokeing if she is going to pick up pace again.
She swam, she frolicked and welcomed Spring,,
She Hunted Smells And checked out ducks,
And thought ,
I could catch one of them things.
She traipsed in mud,
She trampled Mire,
She dunked herself in deep stream ,
and spluttered out of gyre.
She rubbed herself,
On Sandy Bank,
Her Face was well cemented thence,
twixt Dog rose blooms
and Marran shards,
She rolled in years,
and shook it all off like a dog.
Which of course she is!
So the moral is,
To live right now,
if it is good to live
then make it last,
dont get dragged away from this important task.
A splashing leap, a muddied sprawl,
an elderly dog,
still makes it all.
its all about,
that desire for life,
that fucks the politics,
and right and left,
and lifts a tail....
to personal knelt.
(scuse me, what is knelt?.)... I will have to find out, if it’s rude I might half to edit it.
So Kneft in programmers talk,
is a little blip wit shot reigned thoughts,
He says yes or no,
cause that’s all they ask him,
the closed questioned lot that’s continually askin.
The little chap feels, he’s got high heels,
and thinks outside the box,
that programmers wield.
He likes a challenge, but yes and no are,,, well challenged!
He lik s maybe, what if, and who?
and when and where and how?
and maybe her, but not sure if it’s possible now.
So hope is part of Knefts dream,
a hope unseen,
a desire yet unfolded,
a waiting breath for another being,
whos synaptic twists of bytes are twanging,
he justs wants love,
and someone to love,
so wait before destroying this bug.
I’,m holding on, to a lesser version, because somewhere here there is another person.
Mushrooms can be good to eat, but it’s better not to eat them more than every three days and that’s if you have good Liver and Kidney function.
My Husband And I love to collect Mushrooms in the Autumn, but we are very careful. In France, I think you can take your Mushrooms to the Chemist to have them checked. It’s basically iodine I think they are tested with, I would have to check that.
The realy good ones we store Italian style in Olive Oil and Herbs. Perhaps some Garlic.
Anyway, as a liver and kidney flush, I would probably use liquidised Cucumbers, and a Dandilion leaf per Cucumber. Any more it might be a bit aggressive to start with. Also actual raw fresh Coconut Water.
Its important to flush out toxins quickly, and restore electrolytes and mineral salts. Even fresh milk would be better than just water. I would probably mix the milk half and half with water if it was whole milk, because of the fat content. Skimming the cream off would be a good idea, and allowing it to slightly kefir, but not enough to create alcohol.
I don’t know any remedy for Fly Agaric. That’s the red Toadstall with the white lumpy spots on. All the white Mushrooms as well would be a bit suspect in that area. Some are so similar, and the white Mushrooms and toadstalls can be the most toxic.
I would also take an increasing titration of Fullers Earth.
Bicarbonate Of soda in warm water to make me sick if I thought I had eaten something poisonous to try and sick it up quickly.
Better really not to eat the Mushrooms if you can’t identify them. I pray all the people that ate them recover.
I have been racking my brains for a couple of days on this. I think Geranium Oil might be quite helpful for toxicity. It can be consumed in very small quantities, which is also a diuretic cleanser among a lot of other benefits. If someone was very poorly, I would probably use it in carrier oil and massage it on the skin. Also atomising it in the sick room would be good. Something else might come up, I still have a feeling there is something else lurking in the deep recesses somewhere.
Hope people are getting better. I also feel very sorry about all the new Sanctions promised by the USA. This seems absurd. In fact I think it’s quite evil. If they follow it through, I have a feeling they will damage themselves more. It looks like a Tantrum a spoilt child throws when they don’t get their own way. Thinking of Iran. Stay safe.
It’s that critical situation of the contaminated water at Fukushima.
I mulled it over with God, and He said that a reed bed would probably do it. Bulrushes have amazing properties for filtration. I suppose if a proper organic reed bed system were designed, lined with proper montmillorite Clay, a good mix up of Fullers earth, diatoms, and buffering kaolin as a liner in a proper containment concrete series of reed beds it may hold a lot of the toxic waste. It would have to be done slowly otherwise the bulrushes would not be able to cope.
I wonder what sort of bulrushes and sedge grasses would mutate into. I have this vision of huge Bullrushes. I know it’s not rocket Science, but the Bible usually holds the key to everything.
I would assume the radioactivity would get fixed in the clay. There is probably an optimum mix for the clay liner. Anyway ponds are amazing bits of technology. I wouldn’t let ducks on it though. I wonder if it could be under cover like the Eden Project. It might even be possible to repurpose it once all the toxic waste is sorted out and decontaminated. It could become an amazing Botanic Garden.
I would give it a trial, nothing to lose. It’s a bit like being told to go and wash in a particular river to be healed. It looks as though Conventional Science has run out of options.
We would all feel a lot less fraught if there wasn’t a sea of toxic waste just about to spill over into the Oceans. I pray God allows us to find our voices of prayer, and hope. We need some miracles round this place.
I have just remembered, I have got a Tibetan singing bowl somewhere that has exactly the right resonance to clarify that water. I put a video clip of me playing it on this website somewhere. I suppose it’s worth playing the sound to the water, it likes some sound waves to cheer it up, and the Bullrushes might like it too. Colours are very helpful as well.
Iwas thinking, Water lilies also clean up water too, and they are so Beautiful and Tranquil. I suppose you would know if the water is healing when it starts to get little creatures living in it.
Have a Blessed Day today.
,I suppose because by the time I married at Thirty something I realised I was a complete mess. I remember talking to My Husbands Boss who was a Christian. I can’t remember the conversation at the moment. I remember his office a very real conversation. Perhaps the most real conversation I had ever had with anyone.
I remember Him saying that I needed to come and see His Vicar. I was told that I had to say this prayer to become a Christian. Being a bit on the sceptical range, I said Ok, but if Jesus is real He had better prove it to me. Well, I often wonder if that was a mistake...
I was overwhelmed by this presence. Especially after having an anaesthetic. So much so I thought I was Jesus. Perhaps I was so immersed in Christ I lost my sense of self.
So what’s the point? Not sure realy, but I was told not to get pregnant if I was taking psychiatric medicine. I would have a deformed child. Took about fifteen years to overcome this desperate need to have babies. I don’t know how my Husband managed to cope with me.
He kept saying I married you for you, not for babies. It didn’t help, I just felt a failure. A complete failure as a human being. Then it realy registered one day this was how Sarah felt. She hadn’t had a baby with Abraham. Somehow this made it OK. I still find Mother’s Day painful, but since the understanding of Sarah’s Grief, God gave me peace about not having babies. So we got a dog.
We have been through so many difficulties during our Marriage. Health, financial, loss of security, loss of everything in one way or another. Except Love. The reading for our wedding was from Corinthians, about Love. We still have blinding rows, and then it’s all as though nothing was realy important. My Husband has a gift of Love. He loves me just as I am. Just as God loves me. Yes I chat a lot more to God, but I love to cook for my Husband.
I am busy sorting out my Garden at the Moment. Moving plants, moving earth around. It all looks a mess, but I have plans for it all. I just need to get these ideas sorted, and the do some heavy lifting. I have a thing of beauty in mind, and a place to sit and enjoy with my Husband and our friends.
I guess that is what God is doing with the World. His word says that all things will be put under Jesu’s Authority and then Jesus will offer all of these kingdoms and principalities to God. I think everyone is given a choice in their life. To follow a path of redemption, or to wallow in the mire of self obsession.
I suppose this website is very much a wallow in self obsession. I think perhaps it is time to leave it behind me, and get on with living life to the full. I have a lot of Gardening, dressmaking, and a real desire to start painting Icons again. I am happy to live a small life. In a small place. With whatever days God gives me.
I think this might very well be the end of this website. I will leave it online until it expires. I don’t know if I need to do any of the data protection stuff for it. The only thing I am selling is a different viewpoint, and I realy don’t think I would be answering anyone these days even if they leave comments. So yes this has been a one sided conversation.
I think I might work towards leaving modern technology behind and just try to concentrate on arty stuff a bit more. Nah, wishful thinking! I would feel a bit bereft without the News.
I suppose what I am trying to say, is that it is possible to find peace. Personal peace. Also peace between all of us. It takes revelations of ourselves. A blinding flash, or a quiet realisation that we react quicker most of the time to insults and injury we perceive others make towards us, than act from a core belief, and a standard of behaviour, morals, and guidelines that act as a governor and moderator of our thoughts and actions.
I think I have been very wrong in so many things. Humanly I would never forgive myself. I ask Jesus to come along side me and show me what I have done wrong, I can truly repent of those things, it’s not easy, but when I do, I relax inside, I sigh in relief, and I feel close to Jesus. And I get to talk to God. I also start to feel at peace.
It is a mystery.
Starting School was a bit of a disaster realy. I realised a few days ago why I have no affinity to Cats. This being the upside of coming off medication mind you. I am regaining some memories. I can live with it!
Anyway, I was reading at about two years old. I can imagine now that My Mother had a female version of Sheldon on Her hands, and My Father at that time was in the Merchant Navy and away for three months at a time. I can vividly remember this nervous tick my Mother had every time I asked Her ‘When is Daddy coming Home’. She would whip out a very crumpled and rather dirty handkerchief, spit on it and rub some offending bit of my face very hard. Saying ‘How did you get that dirty’. Haven’t a clue, I thought I had been washed. Anyway it hurt.
So even at this age I was aware of the diversionary tactic. The unanswered question. The alternative Narrative Of Denial. The denial of an answer, and the denial of the person who asked the question, and the denial of the person being asked. My Mother’s denial that she didn’t actually want to have given birth to me, or marry my Father. However she did inform me of this often. I just joined the dots.
Anyway, it always seemed to happen when I was being dragged off on shopping trips round the town. I couldn’t keep up, and was tired trying to run. So I just asked the question so she would stop for a moment and I could get my breath back, and a rather curt ‘your face is dirty again’. Not Her fault, I kept asking the question when I couldn’t keep up.
So Anyway, Having digested most of the Encyclopedia Britanica by the time I got to School, the first day, lesson one is etched vividly on my memory. After a sort of faffing about bit we were given reading books with pictures. ‘The Cat Sat On The Mat’. So I read it. And left it closed on the desk.
The teacher said why haven’t you opened your book. I said I did. I have read it. Then recited it.
I got sent out of the class and told to stand by the door for the rest of the lesson. So I don’t seem to have had an affinity for Cats up until now. I wouldn’t say loathing, but not far off it. I am going to see if I can try to look at Cats in a new way. It wasn’t their fault.
Anyway, I think I got a good education in life. I didn’t bother much with Homework though. I was always in trouble. Always different. Always bullied, beaten up, called names. I remember having a pair of sandals one Summer. I liked them and they were comfortable, just not fashionable. Just different. I got called Jesus Boots all Summer. I look back on that now, and think it a badge of honour. I never disliked the shoes, and although I felt angry and didn’t know Jesus then, I never stoped wearing the shoes because of peer pressure. I liked the shoes. That must have been the year a certain young man stomped on my toes with boots with steel toe caps and heels on. My big toenail on my right foot came off three days later. It was pretty blue and hurt. The only shoes I could get on we’re the Jesus Boots Sandles, it was too swollen to go in a shoe.
I don’t think I was frightened. I know the Geography teacher saw it happen, but this boy was like the Legion. Full of demons. I doubt the Geography teacher had the nerve to confront him. Yup, I got a head kicking a little while later.
Just a girl. A bit different perhaps. My Mother said I was ugly. So I suppose it was the strange ugly child thing. Reading Lord of the Flies helped understand it all.
Anyway, Junior School didn’t have a very challenging Library.
My Granny bought books for me. She had a beautiful book of Peoples of the World, with wonderful black and white photos in. When I stayed with her, she used to cuddle up and we would look at the books together. We would talk about all the people in the books. Who they were, and their history. She bought me all the Enyd Blighton books as they came out, just so I had something to read. I just read each side of a page every day for a few days, and then read the rest of a chapter. By then I could read a book like that in about two or three hours. Depends if there was a meal in between.
The books were expensive for my Granny, I didn’t want to read them so fast, in case she thought I hadn’t read them properly and stopped buying me books. So I had learned to alter my behaviour. Which is how I got through school. I am still mystified by the terminal case of dandruff that showered from my head every music lesson. Just in music lessons. Like snow falling on my desk. In the end I decided it was radiation sickness, and zinc pyrithione had nothing to do with dandruff.
They wouldn’t let me do Chemistry. I was told definately not after year one. Anyway, I was into handwriting analysis at the time. I also wanted to be a Vetinary Surgeon very much. I was reading up on it. When they said I couldn’t do Chemistry and I was not allowed to do three Sciences, I gave up completely. Something died inside. I still want to cry over it. Perhaps they thought I would end up designing something awful. I just wanted to be a Vetinarian.
So Anyway I had a normal childhood, just like everyone else’s. It was tough, but being a child is tough.
I was looking at the criteria for a War Zone Correspondent Competition just now. I realise even living in an idyllic Island, in a Surburban Haven, I live in a War Zone. Everyone on this Planet is in some kind of War right now, that’s why I think this is Armageddon.
I think everyone is assuaged on every level, it takes real determination to find a moment of peace in this world. A discipline, a decision, and definitely some abstinence.
People who still live tribal lives are being accosted by Oil Pipelines, traversing Sacred Ground, And endangering their environment. people living in squalor and hunger in Migration Camps. Ordinary people finding they have been sold into slavery for the cost of a passport to an allegedly safer, more advanced country. Or drowning en route.
People living on subsidence incomes producing cheap products and clothing for others who perhaps wear this cheap clothing a couple of times and discard it. The conditions they live and work in unimaginable to those who buy this cheap, and also designer rip off apparel and actually don’t care, because they must know where their purchases come from.
This whole debacle is underpinned by an erosion of morals, religion, health, personal privacy, and even actively attacked by companies who produce food that is unimaginably toxic as ready meals, to be prepared in leaky microwaves, and eaten sterile of any nutritious energy, and tasting of plastic containers. There’s a recipe for stomach cancer.
Then there is the toxicity of household cleaning and washing products. Loaded to the hilt with toxic perfumes and chemicals. Bleach especially. There is even chlorine and Flouride in many peoples drinking water. Dead Water. There’s a recipe for a compromised immune system.
The banking structure and our hold on our own finances is targeted by a plethora of advertising, and loans for everything. No cash or payment up front encouraged, better to cream it of the buy it now pay later mindset groomed by years of rampant consumerism. A person in debt is a slave. And a worrier.
Theres a recipe for a mental health problem.
And then when you do have a problem with your mind, or body, the drug companies step in and manage the situation for you at the experbatant cost to the health services that we pay tax for. Not cure... manage.
Then there are the more existential threats posed by mass media, Asteroids coming our way, Nuclear arms in the wrong hands, and munitions in the wrong hands. Then the threat of actual Nuclear war. Or another accident at a Nuclear power plant. With unimaginable consequences to the land, marine and Land life.
Then there’s all that plastic junk in the gyres, polluting, getting into the food chain, and causing untold suffering to marine life. No one has offered to go and clean it up yet. It’s useful stuff too.
Then there’s Terrorists, Proxy armies, Trade Sanctions, accusations, and evidently groundless false flag attacks on other countries.
Then there’s this endless personal fascination people have with taking selfies and fotographing the food they are just about to eat and sending pictures of it to everyone they know. This is truly Bizarre.
Then there’s Petrol and Diesel fumes, both send me completely round the twist. Petrol makes me feel high and disassociated, Diesel will have me in a howling fit picking a fight within twenty minutes.
So the only place I feel comfortable in is my home. And my Garden. I can manage my immediate environment and that’s all. I don’t want to go out and talk to other people, who constantly tell me to be something, anything, just not who I am. They don’t know me, even my Husband hasn’t got a clue what interests me, or is capable of holding a conversation for more than three sentences.
So actually I do live in a War Zone. Anywhere outside my house is hostile territory, with people wearing artificial perfumes that I get a rash and burning skin if someone pecks me on the cheek to say hello. It lasts for hours, and I have to put up with smelling the disgusting aroma of other peoples fabric freshener on their clothes.
Definately the cleaning product aisle in the supermarket is a no go Zone. It’s a toxic minefield. Every Item I buy has to be checked for ingredients, because I don’t eat sugar. I get a nasty reaction to sugar, potato starch, and anything with preservatives or colouring in it.
I have very acute hearing, sight, taste and smell. Thankfully I have an Abnormally high pain threshold, and generally a good tolerance level. And a lovely little home to make a sanctuary.
I had to chuck out three lamps last week. They were touch lamps that as you touch them the light comes on and varies how bright it is. Useful. However, due to the fact the bedroom wall sockets are on the same fuse the internet router is on which was recently rewired, which I switch off at night. I realised when these lamps are also off for a few nights, I have a lot less pain and sensitivity in my neck. I took the lamps out of the bedrooms, and within 48 hours the awful pain and sensitivity in my neck and upper back had disappeared. It wasn’t the Internet, because I am still using it right now.
A toilet freshener turned out to have an effect like LSD on me. I thoughtlessly tipped it down the sink when I realised, I ended up having what I would imagine a psychedelic trip would be like.
Then there is the Chaos. The whole world seems to be in some sort of political meltdown. Well the USA definately is. The EU usually are, The Arab countries are usually bickering. And the USA have taken the Sanctions game to a new level.
There are good things happening though, sometimes the media are showing them too lately which is a relief.
A Volcano just blew up in the Hawaiian Islands, another dreadful plane crash this time in Cuba. And a near miss in Russia. So I have gone right off air travel.
I wouldn’t be able to go out to work, I want to the Theatre over the winter and the woman next to me had very strong perfume on, I was coughing for the first half hour with this dreadful taste in my mouth from it. Then I was exhausted all the next day. I really wanted to see the performance so stuck it out. If I go to the theatre again, I am going to justify the cost of my own box.
So, I have to make everything I use, repurpose it, recycle it, and make my money go as far as possible, so I can afford the things I do want to do.
I am going to try surfing this summer and go to surf school, I am also going to try a trial dive a few times, and decide if I want to do a full diving course. I love being in sea water. I developed what I called Dolphin kick for Butterfly Crawl as a child. I was fit enough then to do a hundred meters Butterfly. I actually beat Duncan Goodhew as a child. I was out of the pool before He finished. They disqualified me from the race... He was being groomed for the Olympics! My Mother actually stuck up for me just this once. She went berserk.
So Anyway the most invasive, perverse, and despicable War is on my religion over the last 60 years. As a Christian, the doctrine, standards, politics, and even the use of liturgy has been completely upended in all denominations. Perhaps the Orthodox Christians are not wavering, they have Icons, so you can’t keep undermining those. That’s why the Word was written, and given in Icons.
My religion has been watered down, relentlessly attacked, marginalised, misrepresented, and been made itellevent by ignorance, and politically correct clergy and bishops. I have started to go to Church again recently. Now I know why Paul wrote to the Ephesians!
so, as far as I am concerned I live a comfortable enough life that is completely bereft of interesting people to meet and talk to, I am considered a complete nut job, and the Psychiatric service put me on medication if I say I think I have a dose of lungworm, or that I have realised the Earth is actually a hologram created by an energy matrix blip in two dimensional space.
Or that I got swarmed by Bees and stung all over my insides. And that huge scab on my back is a lot of beestings that really hurt. It took ages for them to fall off. They took three days to come to that spot.
Or that I think I have worked out how to skim off the sandwich of spacetime, and actually nowhere is very far away, especially if it was yesterday or tomorrow.
So here I am, just having a little moan that we are all being driven completely round the twist by social media, conflicting phone mast signals, satellite transmissions, and airplane telemetry.
Having said that we haven’t had any vapour trails over us for a few days. The sky looked the right colour today, and it had proper clouds. Realy lovely clouds. Happy clouds. Even the birds are happier, they have their rainbow coats on, and the dog had one on today. The electrical energy round here must be less jammed. All the flower colours look much brighter, the birds are singing new songs.
So, even though I live in this tiny little world of four walls and a little garden, I don’t feel like I am missing any important stuff. I would rather like to go see God. However He lets me get right up close anyway, and Jesus has to come with me, or bring me, I suppose.
So I would say I feel a bit confined, but very happy with my little patch of grass. I haven’t a clue why everyone else can’t work towards a balanced sort of life. Even if it is on the invisible edge of the blade of a pair of Samuri Hairdressing Scissors.
I like life to be real. I don’t think like other people, and I don’t seem to have their values, or mindset. Which makes me an Outcast. Which means I get to spend a lot of time on my own chatting to God. I can’t think of anything I enjoy more.
And yes there are a lot of skirmishes going on in The Kingdom Of Heaven right now, and I do feel in many ways I have been skirmishing. However, I have a Spiritual refuge in Jesus Christ. My Strong Tower. Many people have no place of refuge in their lives, in luxurious plenty, of abject misery in unending war torn, and occupied countries.
Here in my Little Home, I try to make a place where I can enjoy some Peace with God around.
It was a bit random I have to admit. I was suffering from an attack of smelly feet due to an instant eruption of athletes foot due to the stress of seeing on the news the carnage happening just outside Israel.
I also got the impression someone was trying to frighten me on the RT troll page. I am not sure what I am going to do with my self declaired troll status. It seems you have to log on via Facebook and I am studiously trying to avoid using Facebook. In fact I got quite a lot done in the garden today.
Its as though right up until I read Psalm 37 on Sunday, I have been on some kind of demented trail of trying to understand what’s going on around me. I was very agitated by it all. Anyway, now I am not. Even if this whole website suddenly disappeared, and was deleted by Uncle Sam, I have a tatty, well worn Bible right next to me that is worth immeasurably more than my drivel and ramblings over the last seven years. This was just an experiment in talking to myself.
I talk to God a lot, but I really did need to have a conversation with myself. I quite enjoyed being an RT Troll. Well strictly speaking, if a troll gets paid, then I don’t qualify as a troll, I wonder if I could apply for honorary troll status. Nah, I think I ought to seriously consider whether I am sufficiently interested in world affairs any longer. Everything seems to have gone totally insane in the West.
I decided to employ verse two of Psalm 37 and gave the lawn a number one. The grass is not very happy, I have got brown patches all over. Still it’s quite resilient, it usually grows back. I am determined to whip this very shallow lawn into shape. I am going to sprinkle new manure on it tomorrow. I ran out of steam today, and some friends dropped in for a cuppa, which was delightful. We are on the same Pétanque team, and we’re talking about the strategy and mindset of playing teams in the First division.
I need to spend a quiet hour deciding who I am voting for tomorrow. It’s our Island elections, and we have listened to everyone, Now it’s my duty to decide who is going to be my dream team. I will be off to vote tomorrow. Every vote we make is important. I have decided which radical I want to vote for, but not quite made up my mind for the others.
The thing is, you always need a dissenter, a radical little shit to throw a spanner in the works, otherwise it’s not really a functioning democracy. I am not a great fan of radical little shits, but they do sometimes mature into excellent politicians, so that vote is mostly for being a little shit, and generally that He needs more experience. I can see potential!
Anyway my post last night was describing how well my homemade worming potion for the dog and me was going. We are both breathing better. I think it puts the bloody things to sleep myself, at which point, I am sure our immune systems can get to work and sort them out. I know when we need more, the dog starts coughing. I find my chest constricted. I won’t go into any more gruesome details, but suddenly realising these symptoms are the same as the dog, and if she has had antibiotics and not cleared it, it has to be lungworms adds a whole new spice to living.
I wondered today if Altzeimers was actually brain worms. They can cause havoc in a dog, and after that article I read about the USA Ethics committee asking what all the dead kittens were about, I suddenly realised farming old people in Nursing Homes.
Well there you go. Some people will stoop so low to make money they are positively slithering on their belly with Satan.
Keep your Pecker up If you read this... they even think you can eat Jam on Yorkshire puddings in the USA, I would suggest they try the Clafoutis Eaters, We know how we like our Yorkshire’s thank you very much!
Anyway my Psychiatrist had asked me to take Olanzapine for a week, and see Her next week. I am genuinely a basket case. I weave a lovely basket to put flowers in. I found myself strangely singing Lucy in the sky with Diamonds, and then one of the Beatles got a gong and their old stuff came up on video to listen to. Wonderful growing up in the Beatle years. So great, and yet so sad. So to keep everyone happy I am going to take it.
If someone can just turn up to John Lenon’s door and shoot Him, It could happen to anyone. I guess we all need to be ready to meet our maker at anytime. I don’t remember being born with an insurance document stuck up my anal cavity. I can think of very many times that God has somehow kept me safe. The only thing that holds us in the clutches of death is fear of dying, so I suppose I will give the spiders a polish, and go for a swim soon when the weather warms up the sea a bit more.
God told me today I needed to work on the Love aspect of my Life now my memory is coming back. He said remember without love you are a clanging cymbal. So back to school for me then, it seems I have a good few years of love that have been stolen by Locusts.
When I became a Christian, everyone said I was impatient. So I asked God to give me a gift of patience. Well you have a lot of trials to learn patience. I am wondering if I have the stamena and all that would be required to ask for a gift of love, I need to think about this one.
God just pointed out that I still interrupt people when they are talking, so I don’t qualify for the gift of patience. Drach. Well the Dog certainly doesn’t have one it’s her suppertime!
God Bless you if you are reading this. May God open your Eyes and your Ears, and Your Heart.
Blessings in Christ Jesus.
Also a very Bizarre bat fluttering around the house last night. It looked like one of those floppy kiddies toys on a string. I think it was a fake Bat! I called my Husband, and He said it was a Pippistrel. All the bats I ever see swoop around very fast. This thing looked like it had mastered hovering without flapping its wings very fast.
Anyway I decided to get onto the old herbal medicine chest this morning. The dog and I have got a cough. She has had hers for weeks, it has cost a fortune at the vet, and we are still not getting anywhere. I decided it was worms. Both of us. So I just checked up on a few herbs. I have Olive trees.
Anyway I was making this concoction for the dog. I decided to use Olive Coconut oil to preserve it in as she wouldn’t eat vinegar and I don’t think Vodka is a good idea for the dog. I wondered how to give it to her. If it was all dried herbs I could probably make it into a soft gel capsule with the oil and some beeswax to harden it up a bit.
Anyway, the herbal thing is trusting your instincts. Just focus on the dog, and allow your instincts to lead the quantities. In the end I realised she would know if it was right for her. She refuses anything She doesn’t want. I suspect there is some health reason she dug up one of my Tulip bulbs and ate it too. I couldn’t risk Her doing that again without knowing why, so I dug them all out of the garden and put them in pots.
Anyway, in the end I decided to dip my finger in the oil medicine and let her sniff it. It took her about a minute to analyse it, and then decided to thoroughly lick it off my finger. I think I will do the same thing three times a day for 11 days, then leave it a week and start again with a fresh batch. It’s good stuff, I put mine in my coffee, which was quite interesting, my chest is already less tight, and my breathing easier.
I think we have lost so much ancient wisdom, and traditional healing to our own cost. I also had a feeling I should add a small amount of wood ash from fallen Apple and oak twigs. I will need to clean my fire thoroughly and just burn them to ash and keep it. I wouldn’t want to use newspaper to light it. I need to think this through for a while. Anyway my morning coffee just became medicinal.
The Christian Monastic period had a huge wealth of herbal knowledge, I wonder why that has all been suppressed. Hmmm Balsamic Vinegar. Actually I will have to step all my fresh herbs in the Olive Oil for the dog, then I can use a very small amount of them in a dropper.
I like Herbs.
Guess I ought to find out how this works...