I am sure general illnesses are a result of the stresses we live with, and perhaps don't recognise for what they are. I find I don't want to eat much when I feel like this, although I made pasta for lunch and decided to have a second spoonful as it was rather good. That's a good sign!
It's important to keep taking those tablets too! With the history of Bi-Polar I have notched up, anything to help me through difficult situations is essential.
I do write about living with Bi-Polar, as perhaps there are others who read this blog, and can recognise themselves and their symptoms. We are all unique, but knowing we are not alone does help.
I think the best medicine is hope. That's not elation. It's the stability of having something to believe in. Also knowing there are different ways of dealing with stressed feelings, and depression. I am blessed with a good and stable relationship with my Husband, that is a treasure indeed. I do sometimes feel fearful of his health as he has a serious heart condition.
Somehow writing this helps me rather than internalising those negative thoughts. The overplanning and negativive fears that can take hold of me when the future seems full of change or difficulties. It's like the worries just keep going like a merry go round of 'what if's'. Then somehow everything turns out just fine. I realise the ride has stopped and I stagger away in that dizzy and disorientated lurch. Then I wonder at the amount of stress I let myself feel, running up to the inevitable change or event.
I just wonder if I could train myself to feel differently? Not to worry about things I can't change. Stop worrying about security, when the very notion that we have security in the first place is rather silly. I think a sense of security is just when we have nothing that challenges our way of living, and we have no fear of losing a job, home, income, status.. or anything else we put our stock of worth into.
Our lives must be more than buffering us against the hard edges of a reality we don't want to face. Yet at the same time a faith that there is a plan to our lives, engineered for us to grow in some spiritual way beyond our materialistic needs. A kind of sharpness in our experiences, otherwise we wouldn't be human.
I suppose by definition this whole site is a kind of cathartic effort on my part to have a conversation with myself. I certainly don't have these kind of discussions with anyone else!
It is bucketing down with rain outside, we had a huge storm yesterday afternoon and the drains couldn't cope. There was flooding yesterday. In a way I suppose I am the same, I can't cope with too much at once. The rain is both a blessing and a potential hazard with people's homes and businesses being flooded, yet somehow the crisis is overcome. Better drainage systems are due to be put in place to deal with such heavy torrents. Resevoirs full though, which for a small island is very important.