However at 10mg I have got so many of the Olanzapine symptoms. Stiff neck, indigestion, heartburn, tremors. Lack of empathy... I have decided to cut the dose in half. I have taken 5mg in the past and not had side effects. I wondered why I was getting wind, pains in my stomach, feeling sick. All side effects. My neck is killing me. I am seeing my psychiatric nurse Tuesday and the Psychiatrist Thursday to make sure I am not going high.
I feel quite cut off from everything anyway. Which is what the drugs are meant to do. It’s like pulling the plug on a washing machine without letting it finish a load. Full of water and the clothes rotting in washing liquid. Still I think it is better sometimes just to let my brain chill for a few weeks.
I have halved the dose of Olanzapine last night (update). Still got tremors, cough, no appetite, difficulty breathing. I also noticed today/yesterday the shit has hit the fan over Depakote. (Sodium Valporate). I was told not to have children full stop. That I should not consider having children as I would pass on my Bi-Polar genes. I was also told not to allow myself to become pregnant while taking Depakote. That it caused malformation and brain damage to your children.
Well My periods just stopped anyway when I started taking it. I spoke to the psychiatrist about that last week, She said did my periods return when I stopped taking it, I said no, so she said years ago, so having children just didn’t come into our equation. I suppose I could have tried IVF, but looking at these reports of so many babies being damaged by Semisodium Valporate, I have to say it’s just as well we didn’t. We wanted them though.
Psychiatric attitudes were very different 20years ago. I am going to insist I use 5mg of Olanzapine when I know I need it. I can trust my Husband to tell me I am getting out of my tree if he notices:-)))
I have lost over a stone in weight over the last couple of months, did he notice... like hell. I had to tell Him:-(
I am still deliberating over my Olive trees. These howling winds have loosened all of them. I have decided as they are planted in a raised border that they are top heavy to cope with these howling winds. The reason I bought them was to hide my next door neighbours extension. They have already got taller than they need to be, and I think the best thing to do is brace all of them, and give them a cut back after flowering in May. That should sort out the one in the vortex as well. Having the elastic strap round it, with some foam underneath to cushion the trunk doesn’t seem to affect the bark. I will keep checking it. Perhaps I can leave it where it is if I can keep it small enough.
The garden is looking a bit wrecked, but amazingly I have a few geranium flowers and lobelia blooming! I will have to do a shed load of work on the lawn though. It has been so waterlogged the grass has died. Bare patches all over. Still I bought new grass seed a couple of days ago. I am using a fork to aerate it when it is not too sodden.
I have been busy making backrest cushions for my sofa the last few days. This is one of those jobs you think will be a few hours, and it turns into a few days. The first one is finished and is perfect. I was only planning to make two, but decided I need three. The sofa we bought at auction is comfortable, but too far to lean back without that sort of slouching back. It’s very comfy to curl up on, but I don’t find it comfortable to just sit in it. Anyway I am recycling all the piping and zips, the stuffing from the original cushions. I like making new stuff out of something most people would just throw away.
We now have a Sonos sound bar for the TV. It makes a huge difference. Much fuller sound. At least I don’t feel so tetchy from the sound the TV makes any more, also we have the colour toned down, so I am not getting glare from the fluorescent colours. Much more realistic.
Off to visit a dear aunt tomorrow afternoon. She is 95 and has just had a bad couple of weeks. She usually still insists on making tea with sandwiches and cakes herself. I said that she should not tomorrow, that we would bring the sandwiches and cake. She is under orders not to lift a finger, I wonder if she will be good and not make a cake. The old people are amazing. She is 35years older than me and puts me to shame.
I am praying for our world right now. So much is good, so many people trying to make a difference, yet all we see are the bad stories. That’s why I like RT I suppose. They nearly always have a good spoof every few days. Today was one of their Astronauts riding the vacuum cleaner on the Space Station. If I hadn’t been taking this Olanzapine I would have slid of the chair laughing. Anyway it reminded me of Marc Bolan and ride a white swan.
Sweet dreams, a blessed and peaceful day to all the world. You especially if you are reading this.