
I am renovating an old victorian building and the intention was to give it some real dignity. This problem has happened in the Attic bedroom. The door has been fitted so that it catches on the sloping ceiling opposite by about 4cm. The bodged result of this is that the carpenter has taken a triangular slice off the door and made a triangular corner to the top of the architrave.
I will put the other pictures at the bottom of the blog! Honestly they are good for a laugh!
I spent a sleepless night last night, as every time I closed my eyes I could see a 'snapshot' photo of this bit of bodgework. I don't mind nightmares, at least when you wake up there is the relief it was a dream... when the reality in waking is a nightmare, there is no getting away from it!
Then today, I almost feel an unnatural calm, it works, the carpenter will just have to fit the corner better and give me a discount off the bill for being so daft as not setting out the job properly in the first place!
In fact the whole project is a joke. I feel as though it could be some huge practical joke, and if some of my reactions had been videoed would probably be priceless. That's the paranoia I live with!
However this morning I did sleep in until gone 10am, and when I woke found in my morning muse, that this is a very good metaphor for Christian life.
If Jesus Christ is the Door, then the Architrave is the life that we build around Him, in order that we can 'knock and have the door opened for us - into the presence of God and eternal life'. The architrave is the 'Doorposts of our Lives'.
I actually felt God saying to me that the purpose of this mishap with the door in the attic is to make a point. So I am going to leave the door fitting as it is.
That the door would not open wide enough to gain full swing, is that we are to be co-workers with Christ. Like He is an 'older brother'. That a 'piece of Christ' has been set into the architrave of my life, in order to allow the 'full opening' of this door to God's redemptive blessing and renewal of a very old and neglected 'House'.
That this in no way comprimises the door, (or the divinity of Christ), but does set the 'Architrave' the job of doing a part of the doors 'work'.
I have to remember, the 'House is His', the 'Builders' are His, and the 'money to pay for the work' is His! He entrusted it all into my care for this project, and I have done the best I can with it. The Builders will have to put up their own defence though!
He will also provide. If that is in discounted work for these builders in my project as they have bodged so much of it up, then I will still get it done for the money set aside for it. They tell me they are 20% over the price at the moment...
Most people would not notice the top left hand corner does this in the actual attic! It is quirky to say the least! It also means it is a full size door, so no stooping to enter, or squeezing to get furniture in!
That I think the Builders could do with going back to school and learning to do their job properly first time is my opinion... and I am entitled to that and some serious compensation!
Nice analogy after all. I like things that have meaning to me.
Pays to know what you are doing and get it right first time... and never let a Man do something without checking he has some common sense. (I would love to have one of those sticky skin thermometers that you could just pop on to get a % available common sense, rather like you can see the performance of your computer).
I get the feeling there is a language problem with my builders. For instance the project was duly costed to have all the original windows restored in a joinery workshop, this was budgeted for in the price. So for me to say 'use the budget', or 'keep it on budget', seems to translate in builder speak to 'bodgit', cut corners!... Literally! They just rubbed the windows down, mended the sashes, and then painted them so they all stuck back together again! Priceless!
I am going to put up the other door shot, just in case someone does have a tight spot they are in for future reference. It's not a bad idea, but only if it has to be done to get the door to fit. This could have been set out differently and there wouldn't have been any need to do this!
Um, all new doors and architraves, and hinges, I will pick 6 of the best ones! and a couple of lovely little original sash windows that should have gone to a joinery workshop. Are they stuck, yes! Do they work smoothly, No! Are they draughty, Yes!
Our planning department are trying to keep all heritage windows, so all of these type of windows have to remain in a building. Which means they realy shouldn't be retro fitted with double glazing either. The best thing to do is get them properly restored, and painted properly so they fit all snug. Then use proper curtains. In fact it has been demonstrated in Towns in Scotland that houses with proper interlined curtains, and well fitting single glazed windows like this (should be), lose less heat on a heat imaging photo than those with double glazing!

There was such a huge gap underneath the skirting boards, that I think they have had to buy in a pallet loat of mastic/whatever. I wonder if they plan to paint over it now it's been filled?
I had a new roof put on and the silver thermal lining put in the roof. I said that's all a bit pointless if the tenent is going to get a gale blowing under the skirting boards...
I half expected them to tell me it was free air conditioning...
Or that it was part of the ventilation needed for the roof...
I am not going to rotate the next pictures. Currently the decorators are filling all the gaps with mastic and painting over them. I wonder if this guy did these cutouts with a chizel or a router? Hey why not load them all! (anyone feel like playing snap? Sorry, there isn't a matching pair among the lot of them!) Most are new architraves and doors!
The project is now 2 and a half months over schedule. I am not even sure the new bathroom floor will take the weight of a bath full of water. Oh, by the way, they did all the plumbing for the bathroom... but there's no pipework from the tank, and cold water supply in the flat to the main on the street. Um, thought we were going foreward here, I know I said I wanted the property renovated, but I still expected to have running water...
I was supplying a Teuco bath with the plate glass doors and power shower over... they built the bathroom too small to take it, then said 'we thought you were supplying the bath, you will have to pay for a new bath that will fit'. It's the cheapest bath imaginable, it doesn't fit square to the wall, and the tiling is obviously not square either!
The isolator for the towel rail was well within the hand reach of the basin. Even I know that is a hazard!
Here are those hinges!

Had they been done in the workshop the old glass and putty would have all been stripped out, the beading cleaned through, the mechanism rebuilt... la la la.
As I say, it's like being in one of those awful 'reality' TV shows where absolutely everything goes wrong, and some poor unsuspecting mug finds out it's all been a practical joke!
Still, the most cheerful thing I can think of is my dog wanting her tummy rubbed and a good play every morning, good thing there's a reason to get up!
Someone has to get a bad job done so everyone else feels better about themselves when theirs isn't nearly so bad! I have a sneaking suspicion the builders will also clear off without finishing rendering and painting my back wall.
They did a bit of it and patched it into the old blown render. Then forgot the dripper lip, so patched that on after. The first bit of frost it would fall off. However they still didn't take off the blown plaster, and then had the air conditioning units fitted and re-gassed. At least it's not painted yet to add insult to the decorators.
So to take the Air con off and put it back will cost £600, plus re-doing the work on the back wall. They have already taken it off once, because the bit they did do, opened up into huge cracks after three days.
Wait and see, you always think to yourself, they can't get this wrong, and lo, it doth happen so!
I have to put this in perspective, there are so many people out there homeless, or living in nightmare accommodation where landlords don't give a damn about their quality of life, and have the neck to charge the earth for.
Admittedly, I am broke after this, and depending on how arbitration goes, I will have to raise a shed load more cash. I am not sure yet how the building contract plays out. I just wanted to have a lovely flat to let to someone who needs a nice home. Not too frilly, but very homely well insulated, snug in winter, and cool in summer. Not even sure if and when I can let it... although it is quiet, it is in the centre of town, however no parking.
We have strange laws also about who can rent flats, so this one can only be taken by someone who 'qualifies' to live here. It would make a lovely home for someone, if they don't mind wonky door hinges, windows that don't close and open properly, a bath that might fall through the floor, oh...and no water. That's the shortlist!
I would be happy for anyone to post me a good builders joke to cheer me up!