I can tell you the fatal mistake, I was so distracted by the thought of a general election being sprung on the UK electorate, I forgot to put in the mustard. I tried every trick in the book to rescue it, but I have a split mug of eggy seasoned oil sitting in my fridge and I am wondering if there is any way to salvage it, or simply ditch it.
It does not cut it without the mustard! At this point I wonder if the Europeans might want to offer terms, the Brits leaving Europe is like trying to make mayo without Mustard.
I think that the Conservatives actually don't want to win the next election, as they do not want to be the government to bring home Brexit. The most devastating single error made since Chamberlin did his 'Peace in our time' rhetoric.
We Brits need to get a grip on ourselves and decide what we really want. We have a multicultural society that works tremendously well. We have been sold the lie that it's not 'British'.
We have always been a mixed bag. I am as Anglo Saxon as you can get. I can trace my family back to some very distant roots. I am British through and through. So is anyone who embraces our country.
Not everyone can learn a new language easily, that's why it's great to have so many people in the UK that speak three or four languages.
The detant today came in SuperU, the regular supermarket we use for our big shop nearby. We had bought two live Spider Crabs for a treat.. Which I duly cooked with care. However one simply was not a good crab, it was empty. No-ones fault. The other crab was great so we shared it. Yes the mayo was perfect that day!
Today we went back to Super U to get more fresh milk and a couple of other things, so I decided to ask about the crab, wondering what their policy might be.
All in French I might add! I asked at Accuel, the welcome desk about the crab, the girl was delightful, and told me to go and ask for another one at the Fish counter. So I explained to the same young lady that sold me the spiders the problem.
Oh, she said 'it must have been old and tired'. I explained the other one was very good to eat, that they had both been cooked the same.
The Fishmonger then immediately offered me a refund of €8. We only paid €13 for both the original Crabs. I said I was delighted with this, however my Husband felt he had been shortchanged in the crab department and actually wanted another Crab.
Well this excellent specimen that was loose on the fish counter, looked as though he would take on M.Junker. Arched legs, viciously snapping claws, and fierce eyes stalkily eying us up as potential fish counter invaders.
He might actually have been doing an impersonation of the President of North Korea.
My Husband negotiated the Vicious Crab, and a large scoop of cooked whelks instead of the €8. We were all delighted. I pointed out this crab didn't look old and tired at all, and I might have problems killing it.
The young Fish lady said don't worry, put the crab in my freezer for half an hour to make him groggy.
I was so surprised on two counts. Firstly that she knew this English word! Also that I had not come across this tip before.
Anyway I got home and googled to see what 'groggy' translates to in French. Well it turns out it's a French word!
Freezing a crab doesn't work, the thing was still trying to take a chunk out of my kitchen gloves after 45 minutes in the freezer. Also all the flesh had tightened onto the shell, it took ages to get the water back to the boil after I put the Crab in, so I don't think the flesh was the same taste being slow cooked from such cold temperature.
Still, worth a try with the freezer technique. If I have such a feisty crab to deal with again, I will put chainsaw gloves on!
I had to make the Mayo from scratch all over again.
Please don't split the UK the same way I spelt my Mayonnaise tonight.
Thinking about it, If I hadn't put garlic in the split mayo, I could have mixed some multi mini in it and used it as a face pack!
I hate throwing things away, so my best suggestion so far is using the eggy oil to breadcrumb some chicken. Lots of herbs. More garlic, Or perhaps go for a spice mix, so it tastes exotic. Flour the chicken first, slap it in the oil, breadcrumb it and bang it in the oven. I will let you know how I get on on my new food blog. I called it 'cooking with steamy' for now, but Ineed a better name for it.