I am not sure if I just lost interest in everything, or if I just didn't want to be part of this techno world any longer. Anyway I haven't been on this site for a long time, or made a comment. I wonder if my own perspective makes a difference?

Yes it must. Each of us makes a difference in the way we see this world. I was very depressed for many long months. Perhaps just getting on here and making some ripples in the pond makes me less or more invisible.

Anyway I still have this website so I may as well visit it. I haven't a clue how to use the gadgetry, or sell anything useful, so it is still personal indulgence. Or an insanity lifeline.

It occurs to me today that it is not me who is insane, how can the UK possibly be consider Boris Johnson for PM.

How is it possible for every shred of veneer to be removed from the respectability of UK Politics.

I would hazard that every development started when Boris decided to play the back Brexit Campaign as a foil to David Cameron. Except Boris made better brags than David about the health service on that Bus.

To be honest I have never recovered from the vote to leave the EU. I would like to stay in a reformed EU. Not a Bull in a China Shop crashing through the plate glass and into the path of a mega truck from hell called 'World Trade Regulations'. 

Does it make me a sad person to say I want the UK to remain in the EU... only if you say so.

The whole fiasco of the last three years looks like everyone trying very hard at denial form my vantage point. Every politician knows we are better off being in the EU, but can't bring themselves to say it because their constituency voted Leave.

Apparently the EU are now trying reverse psychology and saying they don't want the UK... Well there is a sense of humour in Europe after all.

How can I still be banging on about all this? Because my gut feeling is I want the UK to be in the EU.

I can hope it all turns out OK!

It has certainly divided the whole Nation. Making political comments these days seems hard work for the comedians. A lot of subject matter seems to be off limits.

Yes I need to catch up with the rest of you. The whole world has passed me by for many months.

Next to the awful news of a dreadful assassination, I can't help pondering over that tablet of Ice in Antartica.

Its as though Globalisation has been some huge and nasty experiment on the poulations of the World. 

(My definition of Globalism is more economic. The Mega worldwide Companies and entities that don't put enough into small local products and enterprises. Local Businesses and the need for local supply chains that don't incur vast transport networks. The need to build society from a local level. The need to pay local taxes and develop local services and infrastructure. I find Mega business seems impersonal, I also wonder if people making clothes or products where labour is 'cheaper' get a good deal.

What I read in the news is becoming like a cross between as Mexican standoff at the OK Coral, and a political version of Star wars. I am confused for once. Yet not confused.

I see pictures of the tablet of Ice and see God telling us to put our cards on the table and sort out all this mess. Either that or Damian Hurst showed up and decided to do some Ice Carving. When God sends a message it's usually backed up with a few irrefutable instances. I would expect the triangle and the circle no less to confirm the message!

Well the plastic in our food chain would account for one. (Circle, as in what comes around...) The Earthquake in the UK the moment they start fracking another. (Triangle, don't mess with the square of the hypotenuse when extracting the piss... sorry gass.) The Earthquake off Greece is probably a precurser to another rift in the Orthadox Church between Greek orthodoxy and Constantinople.

So people get their dates wrong, thats not new. I will check out the new dating for the Pompeii Fiasco.

Heaven Help the USA and the rest of us if God Himself decides to go Ballistic on Yellowstone, or any of the other Hot Spots. When God Blows his Tank, and lets Mother Nature blow off steam all Hell can break loose. I am not for messing with God. He is Very BIG. And that can not be read in any other way than immensely Hugely Immortal Ineffable Wise, Just and Merciful. I thought I ought to remind Him he is Merciful...

The thing is with Bullies, we let them get away with it. We cower, we run, we comply. Then we find out they become Narccissic, and wheedle. Then they implode and cause a mess everyone else has to help work out for them. I grew up being bullied. I was 'different'.

Life is slowly moving on day by day. It has been a hard time for everyone, let alone the families torn apart by senseless revenge.

Yup I am on a very occasional second glass of wine, and I haven't given up smoking. Just cut down considerably. Thats probably why I am voicing myself on here. I still don't talk much to people. Thats probably because I feel socialy inept though!

I had a meeting with my Psychiatric Nurse today. I have opted for three monthy meetings for a year. I am considered 'Well'. Under normal circumstances at the moment I would be climbing the walls and wanting to escape to the secure unit. I suppose the new drug is giving me a lot more 'Stability'. 

As I wasn't diagnosed as Psychotic, I suppose an anti psychotic will have personality and emotional dampening characteristics. Yup, I don't feel my emotions like I used to. They can be accessed with a glass or two of wine evidently! Is this what everyone else is like?

I am praying for a huge dose of Sanity to help everyone through these difficult days. For an immese healing to take place in our minds and bodies. I am praying for the Amazing to happen against all odds in the most tragic of circumstances. For everyone.

​May God's Peace that passes all understanding, and his loving Grace overwhelm you and me.

This is what I am praying for right now, for everyone on this Planet.

Who isn't having Nightmares? It's as though the thin veneer of Civilisation has been completely wiped off a priceless table. 

A constant murmer in my mind of horror. This must be Armageddon. An insiduous fear of not being safe to speak, to think. A world overturned.

I am praying for God's Mercy on all of us. Our Ignorance of such things happening before this does not make anyone less culpable of washing their hands or turning a blind eye.

What will it take to stop producing weapons, and breeding evil in the hearts of just ordinary people. 

This is a Nightmare world. 

I must stop watching the News. My Heart and mind can't comprehend the events of the last few weeks.
To think that children are exposed to this knowledge of depravity. This news will filter through to them. How will parents calm their children. How can they calm themselves.

How can we redeem ourselves from such an act.

I can only take comfort with the mundane and repetetive motions of housework, and cooking. 

The world has changed forever.  A Trajic Indictment of pure Horror has been laid before us. 

What form of Justice can erase the knowledge of this happening? Certainly not more death penalties.

May God save us from ourselves.

Yes I am over 60! I still have a sense of humour, so I can have a sense of humour failure!

I think the rest of the World has had a sense of humour Failure too...

Mine was over my Masda MX5. I spent out to have a respray. Lovely looking job, although a year on and with less than 300 miles extra on the clock all has not gone well.

Day one. I parked it on the drive and my Husband reversed into it and smashed the number plate mount. Yikes. I had a sense of humour failure.

I put it in the garage to winter it, and had a flat battery. I got a good Mechanic to turn up with the jump lead machine and start it. I said shall I reverse it out of the Garage. 'Non'. (A French Mechanic). He scraped off the paint on the front skirt! Ouch....

Then I got the lovely Sppedwell home. The auto choke raced on me and I managed to reverse to fast and broke the downpipe on our house! The car is fine apart from a nasty scratch to the rear wheel arch. A bill for the downpipe. Keeps people busy and paid I suppose!

My inherent soothsayers almanac says bad luck comes in threes. So it took over a year to get to number three, I may look to getting the scuffs done.

Why only three hundred miles? I accidentally pulled my left shoulder out of its socket, thankfully it relocated itself. It took six months to get over the injury and be able to use the gear shift! Hence the flat battery. No I didn't take the battery off. It would still be flat and dead.

Pretty much like Brexit, either a good idea or a non starter!

I still agonise over what I would vote in a referendum if I was asked today. I would like to see what another three months of European Politics would turn up under the stone the Brexit vote managed to turn over. I have to say I am on the fence right now.

I would vote Brexit if I was just English. I would vote Bremain if I was Just Irish, Scottish, or Welsh. But I think my Heritage comes from Great Britain. I am now Jersey, and don't have a vote. 

Which is annoying because it's like watching someone eat an ice cream you bought for yourself, and it was the last ice cream and they won't share. I like my own ice cream anyway. I have to make it with maple syrup rather than sugar as I am sugar intolerant along with Potatoes and large Pasta. And all sorts of snacks that go with a drinky poo.

Well, I suppose I am beginning to get over the first few months of Aripriprazole, and I think I am beginning to feel a bit like myself. But better than I used to.

I keep saying something is missing but I can't explain what it is. I am not missing what it is any longer.

The main thing is I am rested. I miss being on a hot line to God, but I can't live like that all the time. It's not Human.

A bit like the sense of humour Failure. You have to have one in the first place, to know what it is when it fails you. Still, having a sense of humour, or knowing who God is doesnt' fail. It gets knocked sideways with either a serious dent in some expensive paintwork, or a reading failure in the Bible department.

I only have to read the last chapters of Job to remind me who God is!

Enjoy your next dent, or sense of humour failure, but most of all read the book of Job. Brilliant to get to know who God describes himself as... and find the grace to forgive your friends when they let you down.

Have a stunning day restoring yourself, and everything around you tomorrow. Feel very blessed in Christ Jesus, or read Marks Gospel if you dont.

​Good Grief. It's taken three months to get over i-pad addicion! 

The next Bummer is that I can;t watch TV. I tried warching Joanna Lumley on the Silk Road. I feel dizzy and drunk. Disorientated. My Neurons have gone berzerk. No more TV either. I don't normally watch TV either. I feel sickly! Back to sewing then! Watching it was wonderful. Too much to take in. I love the idea of the fast trains so much. I just need to see it all for myself.

​Hope anyone reading this gets over any addictions painlessly.
​
Pax.

Our dear old pooch has got hearing after being deaf for months, perhaps even a year. Lots of restoration going on rhand yere!

The poor little thing is flinching at plates being rattled, although doing a great job on barking at anything she thinks she hears. Thankyou for all your prayers for her. Her warty bits seem to be falling off as well.

She needs a bath. Not her favorite experience, but she loves that clean all over feeling after. She just looks like her fur is full of crap that is coming out of her skin. It doesnt brush out easily. She might let me brush her teeth at this rate! At 14 and soon to be fifteen in the new year she has a new lease of life.

She had me running to keep up with her a couple of days ago. I was wondering who was in better condition! If this carries on I will have to cut out smoking or I won't keep up with her! Frack. I was being an anti establishment, anti propaganda die hard. If you forgive the expression. Ceasing smoking is my choice. And that is it. I will not bow to peer pressure, propaganda or incessent drivelling from has been smokers who gave up.

However the prospect of trying to keep up with an elderly dog, does actually need consideration. She ran up the little hill better than me, and wheezed less at the top, and she has windpipe obstruction due to the alleged enlarged heart. I just have smokers short breath!

Anyway I think God is breaking out the Restoration Program. Be prepared for Huge Miracles. Stuff that just seems to change overnight and seem better in our lives. A release form the bondage of addiction. Sadness, Lonliness, and Dispair. God makes all things New. He Restores our Soul and gives us the will to live. May you be comforted and experience the peace of the Lord in any trial, or difficulty you might be experiencing.

​If you are happy, may God add to your Wisdom!

Bless you for coming here and reading this stuff. Bless you for praying for our dog. May a glorious rRestoration happen in your life in Jesus Christ.

Bless your today, and may the Lord Jesus Christ Bless you with Peace from now on, untill Forever!

Pax.

Not very well photographed, a lot of glare from the overhead lighting. I found it good to pick up paintbrushes. I haven't been near a canvas in a few years. I will do more things when I get to buy some more canvasses. Here goes, If you fancy a bidding war on it, I promise not to shred it when the hammer goes down! Heh!... It's not for sale!

​

I am a little too old and grumpy to go on a march on Sunday, but very much with all my Doggy Pals on this issue of passporting. I may have got a little comfey in my basket in my seniority, but still have a keen mind, and a will to play with my ball.

Mum says it's time to get up for breakfast.

​Thanks to every well wisher, thanks to your prayers our little Diamond is still shining!

She has managed to pull through her very sticky patch. This morning she was up early for her, as bright and happy as she can be for a senior dog. Thankyou to everyone who had a heart to pray for her wellbeing. She has miraculously pulled herself through another of death's doors, and decided to shut it behind her.

Well I am quite different. This new medication Aripriprazole has settled me down quite a bit. The Psychiatrist says if I keep taking the tablets I should not relapse. I am happy to take them. It was just until now, so I suppose about three months for any slight side effects to wear off, and for me to consider this is now the 'new normal' for me. Boringly normal to be honest. I am even not interested in smoking as much, although I am not actually planning to give it up.

I don't even seem addicted to the news. I scan the headlines and it all looks more of the same political propaganda. Another awful Tsunami with many lives lost in Indonesia. Another tragic loss of life and loss of family and friends. I hope they find everyone. We all need miracles.

Perhaps its prudent to build proper sea defenses for these towns now that these storms and Tsunami events seem to be getting bigger and more ferocious. I wonder how plastic reclamed from the sea could be used to build sea defences. If it doesnt rot in seawater and makes building matereals it must be possible to build sea defences from it.

I did a painting yesterday. The first time I have got paint on a canvass for many years. I woke at three am, finding that I was actually sort of frightened of being normal. I have never been normal before. A sort of bored, slightly indifferent, not bothered sort of pervasive stupour seems to be how I would describe myself. I am not into social media, television, food, and generally everything. Even found it difficult to get on here and say thanks to the well wishers and prayerful people for my dog. 

I did this painting in response to the fear of being normal. I will photograph it later and put it on here. Sort of building blocks and feathery wispy thoughts. Fleeting moments of memories. It is a huge thing to find I am not chatting to God most of the day. I did say I needed a rest though. You have to up your game a lot when talking to God, on a whole different level. I did say I wanted to be ordinary, and normal. So this is another prayer request answered. I realy don't know what life will be like without chatting to Big G all the time. 

I don't feel lonely. Just that I need to do something useful to give my life a bit more shape. A job sounds inconvenient though, so I must look for ways to make myself useful, now that I could probably be useful!

I am not sure how different I am at the moment. It's a whole new territory. I am having trouble working out whats missing. Except there isnt anything missing. I think I am more content, happier in myself. Just wierd sleep patterns for the moment.

​I have the suspicion it is going to be a cold hard winter though, and oil prices are going through the roof because of the Iran sanctions. Stock up on thermal underwear everyone!

I didnt think she was going to make it a couple of days ago, yet she still somehow manages to rally round. The last two days were hotter and she just floundered. She couldn't seem to get her breath and her heart must have been struggling.

She has such a will to live though. I did hand feed her yesterday and the day before, she just didnt want much food. All signs she is getting weary of the challenge to continue on with her paws on the ground.

We can't intervene in any way, this just has to be her natural process. She sleeps a lot, and I hope dreams of her chasing rabbits and ratting days. I count each day as a blessing she still hangs in there, yet sadness overcomes me thinking her autumn days are almost gone now.

Perhaps cooler weather for the next few weeks will be a blessing to her. We still manage very short distances together. It is deeply saddening to know she can't hold out much longer. I pray she simply slips away an old contented dog during one of her comfiest naps.

We can do all we can to keep her comfortable and cool. give her medication to help her heart and fluid retention. Knowing I am waiting for the inevitable saddens me deeply. We will need a rest from this dog nursing for some time I know. Time to remember her fondly, and wait for the spring to cheer us up.

She knows. she likes a good cuddle these days. She has never been one to seek comfort before. We just want to take care of her as best we can until she goes on to Dog Heaven. A stifling and difficult time with any beloved pet.

Say a little prayer for us today that she continues to be her indomitable self right up to the end of her days with us.

The French Foreign Minister seems to think so, with the barb that 'President Assad has not won the Peace'. Sour grapes or what!

I think perhaps it's too early to say this while so many American and Western sponsored troops are still in Idlib Province using Civillians as hostages. My prayers for everyones safety Lord God. Please keep everyone safe.

I read most of the news on French RT. interesting it seems censored on the English pages. The UK Government needs to do some soul searching I think. Teaming up with the Yanks has got to stop for the World's benefit. 

The tentacles of Political Power in the west have been singed a bit not cut off. The Russians were right to defend Syria this week from the Mediterranian. Hopefully between Iran, Iraq, Turkey, Syria and the Russians some lasting stability can overtake their whole region. None of them have anything to lose and everything to gain from chopping ties and those infernal tentacles away from their future prosperity and peace.

So far the forces of these named countries have provided safe passage for people willing to lay down arms. I can't think this is an unlimited offer. There will be a deadline, a 'times up' reconing. 

I hope that US ship coming into the Med this week is to airlift out all these sponsored troops. No wonder they kept Guantanimo bay prison open. Where else can they put these people. They must simply stop creating these groups of fighters and using them to create wars and unrest.

Perhaps the UN will shape up and get some backbone and some teeth after this weekend.

My Heartfelt Prayer is for a final and lasting peace in the Middle East. Northern Africa, and throughout the World. Pleas God it is so, In the name of Jesus Christ.

Reconcilliation and negotiation is the only way forward for everyone.

​This does involve paying up for damages too.