Forget the unrealistic and imaginary Hogworts...
Well my Husband went to this excellent private school in Jersey and was hauled up in front of the sixth form prefects for fighting.
Apparently both He and the other lad got black eyes. However this was not considered worthy of being shown the Feng.
Had it been so i am sure He would remember it. He is going to ask His fellow schoolmates if they were ever considered to be in need of meeting with the Feng! It resides in place of honour in the sixth form prefects jusrisdiction.
Now it seems you will have to pay the £1.50 for a months online subscription to the Jersey Evening Post in order to actually view the picture of the Feng that they published in todays paper from the 1980's showing the sixth form prefects with the Feng, under Archive. The picture reference number is (01196699) if this has been published correctly!
This is the kind of education that is worth paying for!
I know my Husband's parents made great sacrifices in order to send Him to this school. They considered His education of paramount worth. I know, He is well educated, well balanced and bloody irritating and doesn't have a sense of ironic humour. (sorry i was reading some Penn and Teller earlier today). However He is a worthy Feng for this reason; He is a Gentleman.
Back to the Feng at Victoria College in Jersey. Basically I am pretty sure this one has a Lillian Blandin connection. Just a guess, but this is the most likely reason why we have a Feng in Jersey. However real or not as an antiquity, it is the skull of a male Feng. It has the wrong front teeth for a female feng.
A female feng has slighly more tapered and longer bottom jaw and front teeth that sweep out very prettily. She also doesn't have such pronounced jaw horn cavities, as hers are more like fringe hairs, where the male Feng has more like Rhinocerous horns on it's chin. So this is a male Feng. Superimpose a traditional dragon dance costume on this scull and you have a very lovely Feng dragon.
They had flappy down ears like a dog that had fringe hair. Long Eyelashes, and were herbivores. Rather like the Luck Dragon in the 'Never Ending Story', they had a gorgeous golden silky coat, rather like a tibetan terrier looks only a bit longer through the body.
They had a thick heavy tail that was as long as their body, that had a long fringe to waft in the breeze. They had a large black/blue nose, designed for exhaling wind at high velocity. In texture rather like a dog, that was very wet and slimy to stop it catching fire. It dripped snot a lot of the time, rather like small boys.... My Husband says that the male Feng picked it's nose and flicked 'snot bombs' from it's one toe which had a nice long claw on it for scraping our snot. It was obviously essential to make sure there were no snot residues to explode in the Feng's sinus, or it would have blown it's head off. The femail feng just rinsed her sinuses out with sewater.
However they had a deal of a problem as they had a heavily undershot jaw and although they could mate and produce offspring, the young fFengs coudn't suckle as they were prevented from suckling with an undershot jaw. This meant that they had to be suckled or helped to suckle by a human, or another species who helped them to suckle their young.
They didn't become male or female until they reached maturity, as they had to decide once and for all if they wanted to be a feng or a Feng during a coming of age ritual. At this point they were then stereotyped for good as they were in fact eternal beings. There were only ever two Fengs at one time. The choice of male or femail was based on the previous Fengs choice. If they wished to cease procreation, the next Feng would be able to choose a same sex as the previous fFeng chose at it's coming of age ritual.
During this ritual the parent Feng or feng of the sex that the young fFeng chose, would allow it's mate to blow up it's nostrils and the young feng at the point of maturity gave off a spark of divine creation from the point of it's tail. This ignited the parent who became thunder or lightning depending on the choice it's offspring had made. During this moment of the ritual the spirit of the parent fFeng entered the body of it's offspring, so that it's knowledge and experience were available should the young fFeng ever need to make a wise decision.
They were rather like Cows in many respects, very docile and friendly. It was necessary to milk or suckle them in order to regurgitate their milk to feed their offspring. Even their milk was too rich for their offspring and needed to be partially digested by a symbiotic relationship with another species, which had the benefit of their full cream milk, before feeding what was effectively the curds and whey 'sicked up' for the baby fFengs.
The problem for Fengs and fengs was how their digestive system worked. They had seven stomachs. Methane Gas produced while digesting their food was actually routed via an air passage to their nostrils. So that if they needed to 'break wind', they could do it at such velocity and direction, that should the copious amount's of methane produced happen to ignite, they did not set fire to their rear ends, which they would not have any hope of containing once a chain reaction started.
Earlier Fengs suffered from spontanious ignition until a solution to this problem was devised for them.
The solution naturally, was that they could exhale said wind. At the optimum velocity in order that they could still breath without dropping dead from 'exhaust fumes'. Unfortunately anything within 50 paces dropped dead from either; the smell, lack of oxygen or igniton should any bright spark be present.
The smell was a combination of unwashed socks, and dog fart, only distilled to the point of sulpherus, and rotten egg. This wind was exitingly combustible, and was used in courtship rituals. During courtship the Feng would demonstrate his control of wind breaking, by blowing fire rings around the female feng. The female feng was the one who could ignite the spark of divine creation, as her teeth met her tusks, which casued a small piezoelectric spark to ignite her 'beath'.
This is why the male Feng could not ignite his own breath, unless he took the divine spark from the female. However if she caught a whiff of a smell from the Feng during this courtship ritual no procreation ensued. Fengs only perform this ritual every thousand years, so that the male Feng has plenty of opportunity to practice his wind contol duing courtship.
We are after all talking about methane and oxygen mixed as rocket fuel . Nice blue flames... from a very efficient flame throwing animal.
Now unfortunately our friend the Ichiabod sorry JEP you have the spelling wrong ... again.., when will any of you people look up a spelling before going to print? Was a nocturnal creature. It was very shy, and didn't come out to graze until it thought no one would get 'torched or dead'.
Unfortunately when Humans started with the fire thing, the inevitable happened. The Humans became terrified of poor Ichiabod and tried to drive it away with the most powerful weapon they had. The flaming torch!
Poor Fengs were terrified at being hunted down and cornered, and couldn't help breaking wind under duress. With the ensuing combustion of any human trying to fight a feng or Feng off with a flaming brand in hand.
The Fengs were mortified and terrified of this situation and vowed not to breed any more offspring, as they could no longer rely on humans to help them rear their children, or take care of them. So ended the walk of Fengs on the Earth.
As fengs and Fengs are eternal creatures they became the lightening and Thunder. The Thunder always follows the lightning, as the male Feng always follows the female feng.
I did hear the low growling rumble of a male Feng earlier just outside my house. Quite unlike the sound of thunder altogether. However the sound of a male Feng waking on the evening breeze can only be heard by a female feng, so it was no wonder it was only me who could hear it!
Sadly as a female feng I do not get to see the face of the moon, as the moon shines so bright reflcting my light back to me that I no longer see him smile. Perhaps when I too become the thunder we shall see each others face again.
Buy a JEP subscription for £1.50 for a month and enjoy....!
Please excuse any spelling mistakes, the weebly browser seems to have terminal error written over it's forhead at the moment.
In addition to this post, I have to say that this quality of discipline is maintained at This School. I had occassion to address a young man from this School a couple of days ago. They had just been to a Church service in the centre of St Helier. They were exiting this building looking like an unruly rabble of boys. Blocking the pavement, not stepping aside for other pedestrians, stepping into the road without caution, causing me as a motorist to be inconvenienced, and having to drive with extreme caution. Wearing their uniforms without pride, and care of attention. I am disgusted that hats are no longer part of the School uniform, as they have no means of 'doffing', when being addressed by any member of the public.
Many Senior College Men still wear hats and 'doff' at every opportunity, whomever they speak to. This is a tradition in my opinion that should be returned. That the excuse that hats should be excluded from the uniform as; the feminest movement consider this mark of respect to a fellow human being an infringement of their rights, is irrational. That a boy has no hat, means he does not have an opportunity to 'doff' to any person he chooses worthy of a 'doff'.
However the young Man that I addressed, stood to attention, hands at sides, made every attempt to hear me over traffic, saw exactly the problem his fellows had caused, gave me the information I required without hesitation. Was polite, well spoken and stood his ground in excellent fashion, without excuse, rudeness, or 'cheek'. I singled him out, as a boy that had crossed the road in a busy area without using the pededstrian crossing provided for his safety.
Having had this encounter I would suggest that the spirit of the Feng does indeed reside within this school, even if the bones can not be found.
Regardless of apparant age, I would consider appointing this young man to senior prefect immediately, and considering him worthy for 'Head Boy' at the appropriate Time.
It just so happens that the brother of my God Son was Head Boy of this College.
Well my Husband went to this excellent private school in Jersey and was hauled up in front of the sixth form prefects for fighting.
Apparently both He and the other lad got black eyes. However this was not considered worthy of being shown the Feng.
Had it been so i am sure He would remember it. He is going to ask His fellow schoolmates if they were ever considered to be in need of meeting with the Feng! It resides in place of honour in the sixth form prefects jusrisdiction.
Now it seems you will have to pay the £1.50 for a months online subscription to the Jersey Evening Post in order to actually view the picture of the Feng that they published in todays paper from the 1980's showing the sixth form prefects with the Feng, under Archive. The picture reference number is (01196699) if this has been published correctly!
This is the kind of education that is worth paying for!
I know my Husband's parents made great sacrifices in order to send Him to this school. They considered His education of paramount worth. I know, He is well educated, well balanced and bloody irritating and doesn't have a sense of ironic humour. (sorry i was reading some Penn and Teller earlier today). However He is a worthy Feng for this reason; He is a Gentleman.
Back to the Feng at Victoria College in Jersey. Basically I am pretty sure this one has a Lillian Blandin connection. Just a guess, but this is the most likely reason why we have a Feng in Jersey. However real or not as an antiquity, it is the skull of a male Feng. It has the wrong front teeth for a female feng.
A female feng has slighly more tapered and longer bottom jaw and front teeth that sweep out very prettily. She also doesn't have such pronounced jaw horn cavities, as hers are more like fringe hairs, where the male Feng has more like Rhinocerous horns on it's chin. So this is a male Feng. Superimpose a traditional dragon dance costume on this scull and you have a very lovely Feng dragon.
They had flappy down ears like a dog that had fringe hair. Long Eyelashes, and were herbivores. Rather like the Luck Dragon in the 'Never Ending Story', they had a gorgeous golden silky coat, rather like a tibetan terrier looks only a bit longer through the body.
They had a thick heavy tail that was as long as their body, that had a long fringe to waft in the breeze. They had a large black/blue nose, designed for exhaling wind at high velocity. In texture rather like a dog, that was very wet and slimy to stop it catching fire. It dripped snot a lot of the time, rather like small boys.... My Husband says that the male Feng picked it's nose and flicked 'snot bombs' from it's one toe which had a nice long claw on it for scraping our snot. It was obviously essential to make sure there were no snot residues to explode in the Feng's sinus, or it would have blown it's head off. The femail feng just rinsed her sinuses out with sewater.
However they had a deal of a problem as they had a heavily undershot jaw and although they could mate and produce offspring, the young fFengs coudn't suckle as they were prevented from suckling with an undershot jaw. This meant that they had to be suckled or helped to suckle by a human, or another species who helped them to suckle their young.
They didn't become male or female until they reached maturity, as they had to decide once and for all if they wanted to be a feng or a Feng during a coming of age ritual. At this point they were then stereotyped for good as they were in fact eternal beings. There were only ever two Fengs at one time. The choice of male or femail was based on the previous Fengs choice. If they wished to cease procreation, the next Feng would be able to choose a same sex as the previous fFeng chose at it's coming of age ritual.
During this ritual the parent Feng or feng of the sex that the young fFeng chose, would allow it's mate to blow up it's nostrils and the young feng at the point of maturity gave off a spark of divine creation from the point of it's tail. This ignited the parent who became thunder or lightning depending on the choice it's offspring had made. During this moment of the ritual the spirit of the parent fFeng entered the body of it's offspring, so that it's knowledge and experience were available should the young fFeng ever need to make a wise decision.
They were rather like Cows in many respects, very docile and friendly. It was necessary to milk or suckle them in order to regurgitate their milk to feed their offspring. Even their milk was too rich for their offspring and needed to be partially digested by a symbiotic relationship with another species, which had the benefit of their full cream milk, before feeding what was effectively the curds and whey 'sicked up' for the baby fFengs.
The problem for Fengs and fengs was how their digestive system worked. They had seven stomachs. Methane Gas produced while digesting their food was actually routed via an air passage to their nostrils. So that if they needed to 'break wind', they could do it at such velocity and direction, that should the copious amount's of methane produced happen to ignite, they did not set fire to their rear ends, which they would not have any hope of containing once a chain reaction started.
Earlier Fengs suffered from spontanious ignition until a solution to this problem was devised for them.
The solution naturally, was that they could exhale said wind. At the optimum velocity in order that they could still breath without dropping dead from 'exhaust fumes'. Unfortunately anything within 50 paces dropped dead from either; the smell, lack of oxygen or igniton should any bright spark be present.
The smell was a combination of unwashed socks, and dog fart, only distilled to the point of sulpherus, and rotten egg. This wind was exitingly combustible, and was used in courtship rituals. During courtship the Feng would demonstrate his control of wind breaking, by blowing fire rings around the female feng. The female feng was the one who could ignite the spark of divine creation, as her teeth met her tusks, which casued a small piezoelectric spark to ignite her 'beath'.
This is why the male Feng could not ignite his own breath, unless he took the divine spark from the female. However if she caught a whiff of a smell from the Feng during this courtship ritual no procreation ensued. Fengs only perform this ritual every thousand years, so that the male Feng has plenty of opportunity to practice his wind contol duing courtship.
We are after all talking about methane and oxygen mixed as rocket fuel . Nice blue flames... from a very efficient flame throwing animal.
Now unfortunately our friend the Ichiabod sorry JEP you have the spelling wrong ... again.., when will any of you people look up a spelling before going to print? Was a nocturnal creature. It was very shy, and didn't come out to graze until it thought no one would get 'torched or dead'.
Unfortunately when Humans started with the fire thing, the inevitable happened. The Humans became terrified of poor Ichiabod and tried to drive it away with the most powerful weapon they had. The flaming torch!
Poor Fengs were terrified at being hunted down and cornered, and couldn't help breaking wind under duress. With the ensuing combustion of any human trying to fight a feng or Feng off with a flaming brand in hand.
The Fengs were mortified and terrified of this situation and vowed not to breed any more offspring, as they could no longer rely on humans to help them rear their children, or take care of them. So ended the walk of Fengs on the Earth.
As fengs and Fengs are eternal creatures they became the lightening and Thunder. The Thunder always follows the lightning, as the male Feng always follows the female feng.
I did hear the low growling rumble of a male Feng earlier just outside my house. Quite unlike the sound of thunder altogether. However the sound of a male Feng waking on the evening breeze can only be heard by a female feng, so it was no wonder it was only me who could hear it!
Sadly as a female feng I do not get to see the face of the moon, as the moon shines so bright reflcting my light back to me that I no longer see him smile. Perhaps when I too become the thunder we shall see each others face again.
Buy a JEP subscription for £1.50 for a month and enjoy....!
Please excuse any spelling mistakes, the weebly browser seems to have terminal error written over it's forhead at the moment.
In addition to this post, I have to say that this quality of discipline is maintained at This School. I had occassion to address a young man from this School a couple of days ago. They had just been to a Church service in the centre of St Helier. They were exiting this building looking like an unruly rabble of boys. Blocking the pavement, not stepping aside for other pedestrians, stepping into the road without caution, causing me as a motorist to be inconvenienced, and having to drive with extreme caution. Wearing their uniforms without pride, and care of attention. I am disgusted that hats are no longer part of the School uniform, as they have no means of 'doffing', when being addressed by any member of the public.
Many Senior College Men still wear hats and 'doff' at every opportunity, whomever they speak to. This is a tradition in my opinion that should be returned. That the excuse that hats should be excluded from the uniform as; the feminest movement consider this mark of respect to a fellow human being an infringement of their rights, is irrational. That a boy has no hat, means he does not have an opportunity to 'doff' to any person he chooses worthy of a 'doff'.
However the young Man that I addressed, stood to attention, hands at sides, made every attempt to hear me over traffic, saw exactly the problem his fellows had caused, gave me the information I required without hesitation. Was polite, well spoken and stood his ground in excellent fashion, without excuse, rudeness, or 'cheek'. I singled him out, as a boy that had crossed the road in a busy area without using the pededstrian crossing provided for his safety.
Having had this encounter I would suggest that the spirit of the Feng does indeed reside within this school, even if the bones can not be found.
Regardless of apparant age, I would consider appointing this young man to senior prefect immediately, and considering him worthy for 'Head Boy' at the appropriate Time.
It just so happens that the brother of my God Son was Head Boy of this College.
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