I showed the doctor, the psychiatrist, the psychiatric doctor, and explained what happened. They all looked at this patch of Bee stings. I told them all how much it hurt. It hurt for months, even after they came out. Do you know, no one did anything about it. Because no one saw it happen, no one believed me... well the dog did, because I was walking the dog. It was in a spot on my back wher I couldn’t get to it. I couldn’t actually scratch it. It was Bizarre, but I was in so much pain.
I couldn’t see them when it happened. I could feel them. A whole swarm on my head and in my hair. I was stung everywhere. Inside and out. The pain was unspeakable, but no one understood. I did.
Two stings came through my skin a couple of days ago. Somehow this is a freedom from something. As though my genetic makeup has been changed and a liberation has just happened... finally.
There were two stings, but one had broken in half.
Yup, as one of the Goggle Box participants put it, I have been suffering with existential angst for months. Ever since the announcement of the referendum for Brexit. It’s not so much the referendum to decide to stay or leave the EU, it’s the way the politicians went about it. The divisions it has caused. The poverty it is causing even now. I felt sold out of my Birthright. I couldn’t vote.
This is such a slow motion train wreck, and I only now realised the full impact on people like myself. I have lived in Jersey for over 32 years. However I thought of myself as from where I was born. This sense of being adrift last night made me realise how all the dispossessed people in the world feel.
Mine is a very different set of circumstances, I chose to marry my Husband. Leave my country to live somewhere else. It’s a very small Island. However I never realised I lost My British Nationality after fifteen years of living outside of the U.K.
This just brings home to me how many people the U.K. has dispossessed. I even wonder if they have massaged the Nation figures to reflect this. This realisation of how angry I have been is a life changer for me. I can’t go back to the country I was born in. And no-one is actually considered ‘Jersey’ by the people born there, unless you have three generations of family who were born there.
As a Crown Dependency, we are supposed to be looked after by the British Government. I feel they have cut themselves off from us as an island too. They didn’t give us a vote on Brexit. It is affecting so many businesses, and movement of goods will be a nightmare. I don’t even know what will happen with the dog passporting. I am not going anywhere without my dog.
I am not sure how much British people know how much of a joke all their politics look from a short distance. What is reported on the BBC makes them look like Clowns in a circus ring. Except real clowns are very serious about what they do. These people obviously just don’t care about the British people. They all have a self serving political agenda. The U.K. has been sold out on so many levels.
For the U.K. to be embroiled with the USA is like the first beast and second beast from Revelations.
Its going to take me a few days to siphon through my feelings, and generally get to grips with how I feel. My Husband even suggested I start taking the anti-psychotics. Not a good idea while I am drunk.
At least I can understand why I have been drinking so much lately. I think this dreadful realisation is going to be cathartic. There is no point in dwelling on it negatively. I need to just plan out a good future.