I saw him on his way home. If I had turned round and gone back, I definitely wouldn’t have been able to arrive on time with parking and picking up something on the way. I wanted to pick up a couple of books of stamps I bought. I decided I might start collecting stamps. I arrived at my appointment with 5 minutes to spare only to find my Husband there looking a bit sheepish and chatting to a friend of mine.
I vented some steam about this irresponsible attitude to time keeping my Husband has and promptly got told I needed to be taking medication. I did explain how difficult it is to take The Depakote. Anyway I have agreed to take 10mg of Olanzapine at night until Tuesday, and see a psychiatric nurse for a few sessions. Yup dry mouth, woolly head, and not able to stay awake. Had to sleep yesterday afternoon.
Usual story, if I don’t take the tablets I will get ill and be taken into the psychiatric ward! It does feel like a threat. Anyway I may be given another medication to try on Tuesday while the psychiatric mob decide what to do with me.
One good thing is that my Husband and I have agreed to have a TV and gadget ban from 7 - 9 pm. We eat about 8pm, so this is during cooking and eating. It is amazing. No TV, so we are playing scrabble! Of course we ended up having a blazing row over what the rules were the first night.
My Husband was brought up doted on by an Aunt who always let him win every game. He is a wretched cheater in board games as he can’t bear to lose. The first night I flipped because he was looking up words using crossword searcher on his kindle! Yup, breaking the embargo on using gadgets and cheating by looking up words in case he could put something down to score a huge point value.
I said in the initial case if he agreed to use the Mirriam Webster and we look this word up and it was listed he could do have it. Heh, it wasn’t so he was narked. This developed into a full scale row of nuclear proportions.
I insisted the only way we were playing together was to use what we already knew. That tapping into the internet was not allowed. The game should be played without any outside information.
Anyway, he has got the message, and we had a really good game last night. I found it difficult to concentrate with the meds though.
Now there’s confusion for you. I have lost a day. I was sure it was yesterday I went to this meeting with my Psychiatrist, it was Thursday. It is now Saturday. Yes, I now remember yesterday. Don’t tell me these tablets aren’t a chemical cosh. They are also full of aspartamine. I don’t eat sweet foods very often and these tablets are disgusting.
Anyway being a bit brain dead is OK for a few days. I suppose I get the core processor overheated occasionally!
I write about my journey with Bi-Polar as hopefully other people will recognise themselves and their symptoms and find a way of getting help. Sometimes the medication is the only way to re-balance the old brain chemistry.
I am hoping the USA will start spending money on their own needs rather than more Nukes and weapons, wars and warships. The sanctions they put on everyone else will be hurting their own economy. If the USA ramp up their military and Nuclear weapon capacity, it means everyone else has to follow suit. Talk about playing ‘Trumps’. I thought the plan was to downscale the Nuclear arsenals.
I grew up in terror. The ban the bomb graffiti was everywhere. The threat of nuclear war, the memories of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Our childhoods were a living nightmare. This constant threat is part of everyone’s psyche. The world is sick with worry.
The diplomatic service of most most countries must be using some air miles!